It's been way too long since I updated this thing. You can blame an extremely busy semester this past fall, and a lot has happened, even outside the academic world.
The semester itself was a trial, sweating to make sure my grades would be passable for graduation, which is quickly coming up. Being a student director was additional pressure, particularly when earning respect from my actors and even other directors to take things seriously. It was an uphill battle. Even after finishing well, I still feel like I didn't get everything that I needed done for the class. Big surprise, I'm a student director this year. Thankfully, this is a look on more of the theory and methodology then the actual system of directing. Should hopefully be better this time around. Only time will tell. On a more positive note, being cast and performing in Ken Ludwig's Treasure Island was definitely the coolest highlight of the past semester.
Also, as my final semester draws ever closer to a close, I have to be ready for the next step and quickly. As of right now, I'm moving to Jefferson City, MO to settle down and work on getting an income to move on to the next step, assuming all goes well on my end.
Yet even with all that, the previous semester and this semester has been dwarfed by a probably the most significant of all: the passing away of my beloved mother. I haven't talked about her in this blog--or much anywhere else for that matter--as it mostly was a personal matter. However, many people have learned about her and have expressed their sympathies. To be frank, I'm glad she died now then later. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not saying that I wanted her dead. I miss her, and I constantly dream about her, reliving the memories of her during the past 23 years of my life. What I mean is that she suffered greatly during the last few months of her life, particularly in the last month. I had returned home for Thanksgiving Break and found Mom unable to walk without assistance. Her legs had swollen to twice their normal size because of severe edema as a part of her being unable to walk and stand, and her voice had become so quiet that I could barely hear her. Either years prior, she had been diagnosed with astrocytoma, which is a generally common brain cancer--common to brain cancers anyway. The fact she survived eight years (seven years in remission) was a miracle of it own. Only within the last year was their decline.
She was ready to go, and I'm glad she died now then later so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore. Had she lived for another six months, she would have become a vegetable. However, the most significant impact was the impact she made in her relatively short life. I would think being raised by her I would have noticed some of the stuff she did. It wasn't until the funeral just after the New Year did I see the impact she made. Thirty minutes before the funeral started, the church was pact and there were two overflows into the so-called fellowship hall and the nursery. To give you an idea on how many people that is, the sanctuary can hold a full crowd of 264 people if every person took a seat in the sitting areas. Add ten to the stage behind the podium, twenty to the nursery in their own seats, and dozens more into the fellowship hall. Most of the people I didn't even know, while a great many were names of the past. Mom was only fifty years old when she died, and she impacted nearly 400 lives that would fit into that church. Needless to say, I was blown away.
If there was anything I learned all the stronger, it was that no matter how we live, we impact someone, somewhere, and the numbers we impact will always be much larger then we can realize. I've always said to my peers that whatever they do, it impacts others profoundly. Drop a stone into a lake, and eventually, the ripples will make it to the other side. Yet as much as I say that, I was still naive in how much it impacts. Mom still had things for me to learn, even after death. This was one lesson that I won't forget anytime soon, if at all.
Thank you, Mom.
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